She's here! FINALLY!
Recap...
I was already a nervous wreck, being past my due date and looking like labor was no where in sight. I (semi)joked that this kiddo would just stay in until she started kindergarten. Throughout pregnancy, I wasn't really affected by my being a labor and delivery nurse- wasn't super anxious or concerned about the "what if"s. But all that changed when my due date came and went with no baby. I had a hard time thinking about anything other than 'what if she gets too big?? what if she can't tolerate labor?' - it was a vicious cycle. So, as you can imagine, I was thrilled when contractions started Wednesday evening during dinner.
We packed big E's bag and sent her to grandma's and Jarrod and I prepped for laboring through the night (He's convinced that babies never come at normal hours). Things were moving along, albeit slowly. We watched a movie and tried to drift off to sleep. Around 5am, I decided that I was ready to go in to the hospital, not so much because baby was coming soon but for needing a change of scenery.
Get there, checked in and settled. Contractions start spacing out.... weird. Still coping well and doing what I can to keep labor moving along. In the back of my mind I think "ok, get her out by lunchtime and I can send Jarrod for panera... that sounds so good!". Little did I know what was in store...
-Side note: Theoretically, first time labor is anywhere from 18-24 hours. Eliaya was about 14-15, lucky me. Most people cut that time in half for their second labor. So, all pregnancy long I had been prepping myself for a 8-10 hour max process. Doable. End in sight.
Okay, so lunchtime comes and ..... still pregnant. No progress, really, since 8am. Very weird. Weirder still is that contractions have near halted..... and stay halted for HOURS. The book says that's not supposed to happen. Discouraged, I take a nurse up on the offer to try accupressure. Let me tell you... I didn't put much stock in it before, mostly from lack of exposure, but I do now! That finally got things going again around 3pm (so much for panera for dinner....) and I was hopeful Elora would make her debut soon. Then comes 6pm.... still no baby. Still no real change. Worry creeps in stronger by the minute. Having done labor unassisted till this point, I nervously think about interventions and medication. Will they be necessary? Is this kiddo gonna fit? I am spent. Utterly exhausted. My (hindsight idolized) plan is quickly fleeting. My nurse, a good friend of mine, suggests using an IV medication to take the edge off for a bit and help me relax. I did this with Eliaya and afterwards she was ready to come. 45 minutes of near bliss. Not sure what I said during those 45 minutes, but it was a much needed break. Check again... still no labor progress. I've gone long past worry and into frantic at this point (revealing my sin tendencies entirely, and it didn't help that I'd been up for near 40 hours at this point). I know I need an epidural and medication to help labor along if I want to avoid a c-section. But ooohhh.... the fear. Jarrod, who had been my strong rock for sure up to this point, literally came to my rescue, sitting by me praying and helping me focus through each difficult contraction. We agree to go ahead with the epidural ,getting all the necessary medicines and prep work as fast as possible. As soon as we're ready.... I get the news that there has been an emergency on the floor and both the anesthesiologist and my OB are stuck in the OR. It will be 15-20 minutes before I can get the epidural. Again, I start to panic. I has braced myself for just a few more contractions before getting some relief and wasn't sure I had the strength to make it any longer. I felt like there was no doable option. Seeing my frantic face, my nurse and husband stood me up (contractions are usually easier to deal with this way). Just a minute or so later and BAM! I had to push. Anyone who has had an unmedicated delivery knows the sensation I'm talking about. You almost get primal. It's like every cell in your body is solely focused on one thing.. pushing.
Sure enough... Elora picks the one time when the MD can't be there to make her debut! After just a few pushes, my RN friends caught little E and the pain was over. Praise the Lord, she's here. She's healthy. She's a peanut! Tears flow and praises utter from my mouth to the Lord. I can't remember if they were voiced or not, but I know He carried me.
For labor with Eliaya, I memorized John 16:21, and it has so much more meaning to me now.
When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.
This time was harder. Longer. I'm sure I said crazy things (one of which was telling Jarrod if he wanted any more they wouldn't be coming from me). But I'm so glad it went the way it did. I learned more about relying on the Lord, being vulnerable with my husband, and the blessing of being a mom in those 24 hours of labor than I had through any other ordeal.
So in short, don't listen to "the books" and what they say should happen. The Lord is sovereign and knew exactly what I needed to experience to break my idol of self-sufficiency, to show me how strong He is, to show me immense patience so I can show it to others, and to how to give a special gift. I write this all down, not so much because I think any one will find it all that interesting, but I want to remember what the Lord has done for me. I want to be able to reflect on times where I know, beyond any doubt, that He carried me. That being said, if you did read this story... thanks for letting me share. I hope that you are encouraged to trust Him through all circumstances, especially the difficult ones.
Now here are some pics of the little piglet (as she's affectionately called):
